(David Letterman) has been on the air my entire adult life. Late Night debuted my first year in college. I learned more from watching Dave than I did from going to my classes — especially the ones I did not go to because I had stayed up until 1:30 watching Dave.
This man has influenced every host that came after him, and even a few who came before him — he’s that good.
And I tell you — I do not envy whoever they try to put in that chair.
There once was a man named Barack,
whose reelection came as a shock.
He raised taxes I pay,
and then turned marriage gay.
And now he’s coming after your Glock.
— Stephen Colbert, January 21, 2013.
I don’t like Stephen Colbert’s dislike for soccer.