DISPATCH: 911, what is your emergency.
ME: Hi, so kayytx keeps on sending me porn while I’m at work and I need her to stop because I’m a serious, no-nonsense adult. And booshbaby is egging her on. I want both arrested.
DISPATCH:
DISPATCH: What is the nature of this porn, ma’am?
ME: … It’s pictures of Robert Downey Jr.? Why does that matter?
DISPATCH:
DISPATCH: Ma’am, I would need you to forward these pictures of Mr. Downey to me.
ME: But why?
DISPATCH: It’s a matter of national security.

Name: iwantcupcakes
Job: health care
Location: Chicago, IL
Hobbies: reading tweets by Robert Downey Jr. (or his PR person) and marveling at how randomly dorky he seems

Yeah, so Target has already put up some Halloween stuff on display.  These are two things that I found in their Halloween candy section.

… This is how I reward myself after working 24 hours straight.

25 year old female in the ED for evaluation of nausea, vomiting, and abdominal pain. She states that her last menstrual period was one week ago. She reports abdominal distension that had been increasing “for some time”.

the ER note on this patient who initially came in because she “thinks she has food poisoning”.

As it turned out, she was actually nine months pregnant.

She didn’t know.

Did you feel that? Her cervix was really soft and mushy. It’s like it’s fused with her vagina!

my favorite eccentric OBGYN attending physician.